In a quiet place, far from planet Earth, I will sit on a rock in a forest and think about who I am. I will look around and see the tall trees and the grass and shrubs at the edge of the small clearing where I am and open my mouth and call out - "anyone here?" I listen and hear only the wind rustling leaves and know that I am alone. The wind is diminutive, so soft and pleasant, hardly there, except for the tiny sensations of my skin and and the leaves gently stirring. I have looked up and viewed a blue sky and yellow sun and felt content, no desire at all, but I am wondering who I am. "Who am I" I think. I understand that I am here by the power of my imagination, which somehow transported me across the galaxy that contains my Earth and sun to a star system imaged but once by Hubble. I know my name is Paul and I have many memories of my existence back home. I feel inner stirrings as I remember parents and sisters and brothers. I love them, my mind contains so many pictures and words of growing up in my family. I understand that I am not immortal, that my body is fragile and is growing old and dying. I will cease to exist or will I survive in ghostly form? Do I have soul? I do not know.
Do I wish to live forever? I guess so, but not on Earth, too many troubles there. That is why I have come to this new place where I am now, a forest glade with a firm, smooth rock for resting and reflecting. It is safe here, very little sound, no animal life, only vegetation and microorganisms. Who am I? Why must I die?
I feel sad inside, so sad. I think, 'it's a shame that God is absent,' 'it does not make sense.' Why would our Creator, so great that She made the universe, play hide and seek with us? Hide and seek is a good game. It serves to refresh our understanding of self and others. I think, 'God lives outside of time, in infinity.' I think to myself, 'this could be proved by number theory; if there were an absolute number, a number that cancels every other number, that would point to an absolute reality, something akin to what we call God.'
I think about Jesus and his fine understanding of God. In the sunlight twisting through the forest canopy I imagine the crucifixion of that master and his powerful, labored dignity on the cross. I see it in the sunlight. I think to myself, 'a very potent symbol, the Christian cross, because of the spirit of that man who died upon it.' I remember that Jesus said to Annas and other interrogators, "if I have spoken wrongly, then tell it; if I have spoken truthfully, why do you strike me?" So practical and calm before his enemies was Jesus.
I am a human being. I wonder how I got here.
